Products under $50 worth trying out

Educator Rune Longoria was kind enough to guest post for us, and we are so excited to hear their thoughts!

Have y’all won the lottery yet? Me either! Fingers crossed though! Do you have the kind of income where you can just drop hundreds of dollars on a new type of toy without a second thought? If so, amazing! I celebrate your good fortune, but I admit it’s not something I (and most folks I know) can relate to. For many of us, sex toys are at the bottom of a long list that starts with “Mortgage/Rent”, then continues with “Utilities, Student Loans, Health Insurance, Diapers, Groceries, etc.” and usually way way wayyyyy at the bottom (especially if you’re a parent!) the list may include “an affordable sex toy”.

Sexual expression is a human right. If you’re not harming someone else, you should be able to explore and express those desires if you so choose. You also shouldn’t be exiled to stinky, toxic, battery operated, bullshit toys because you happen to struggle in a society designed to stifle socioeconomic upward mobility. But for many folks, the vast array of products, materials, and prices can be intimidating. Add in cultural indoctrination from a young age that “more $$$= better value!” and some first-time toy buyers can end up making hasty decisions that ultimately end up as expensive disappointments.

Now, on one hand I’m grateful y’all are leaving the cucumbers at the grocery store alone. And while the bathtub faucet is reliable as rain, it’s still not great for the planet, your water bill, or your pH balance. Save desperate measures for desperate situations. Hopefully this compilation of fantastic finds under $50 helps you feel a little less confused, frustrated, and overwhelmed.

First Bullet:

Pretty in Pink from Evolved

If you’re making the jump from manual masturbation to mechanical, this is a wonderful launch pad. With a single button control you (or a partner) can operate this toy with ease, switching through the 7 speeds with just the pressure of a finger. It’s also rechargeable, submersible, and like most Evolved Novelties backed by a five-year warranty. If you’re already a well-seasoned toy consumer, the $32 price makes it a wonderful gift or vacation toy. And by vacation, I mean a camping trip at the nearest beach 2 hours away with a cooler full of sandwich fixings and a couple of Dos Equis tall boys. What? Are you gonna bring your fancy $130 suction vibe to the beach? Where there is SAND? Nambe. Don’t be silly.

First Atypical External Vibe:

Slay Pleaser from CalExotics

Not all of us have the ability to grip a small, cylindrical bullet vibe. Sometimes the pointed shaped of a bullet vibe doesn’t provide the necessary contact with our tissues to achieve climax.

Trying a product with more surface area or rumbly vibrations can help those of us struggling to “vibe” with bullets. Since the stingray shape of the Slay Pleaser allows more contact with the wondrous double wishbone shape of the clitoral nerve network, it can be a more effective tool to hit the glorious heights of ecstasy. This green cutie is available for $40 and comes with a one year warranty from Calexotics.

I also really like that it’s quite comfortable tucked behind a strap-on harness for additional stimulation of the wearer! It’s shape and 10 speeds make it a delightful toy to share with your partner. If your partner has a penis (and confirms consent) you can tuck it behind their testicles while performing oral sex. Try varying the direction or pressure you apply the toy to their perineum. Some folks like a constant presence, some like rhythmic strokes. Just remember if your partner expresses discomfort or lack of enjoyment stop the action immediately!

First Set of Kegel Balls:

Rianne S Pussy Playballs Kegel Training Set

Okay so I am a huge fan of pelvic floor exercise, and not just because I’ve gotten into fisting in the last couple years. According to the Mayo Clinic, “Kegel exercises strengthen the pelvic floor muscles, which support the uterus, bladder, small intestine and rectum. You can do Kegel exercises, also known as pelvic floor muscle training, just about any time.” The link connects you to further instructions on isolating your kegel muscles and different exercises to strengthen this region.

But the benefits are basically more bladder control (cancel your subscription to the Pee When You Sneeze Club!) and sexual satisfaction. Yes, we can do these exercises anytime for free, but some of us benefit from designated tools and a regimen (me, a person with ADHD).

You can use a little water-based lube to insert one or two balls inside your vagina, with or without the silicone holder. Some folks prefer the silicone handle to make removal easier. Personally, for myself alone, I enjoy penetrative intercourse while wearing two loose kegel balls. The balls end up rolling around and massaging areas my partner or a dildo may not reach normally. It provides a feeling of fullness I really really like and takes up room in my vagina to provide a snugger fit. Depending on your own health, anatomy, and the oversight of a medical professional this may not be recommended for you.

Checking in with a medical professional is heavily advised, especially because improper kegel exercises can be harmful, just like an improper form while weightlifting at a gym can be harmful. If you get all-clear, then this multi weighted pack with a 2-year warranty and a lockable bag for only $32 is an obvious choice.

First Topical Arousal Product:

ON Arousal Oil (single use ampoule) from Sensuva

I’ve been a fan of this arousal oil since… 2015? 2016? This is a fabulously versatile product you can use to stimulate and enhance sensations in the clit, labia, external anal areas, and nipples.

Depending on how brave your partner is (and whether they have a penis) you can dilute it in your palm with a little plain water based lube and use it to start off a slippery handjob that transitions into oral seamlessly. Likewise, your partner can rub a drop on their lips before performing oral on you, administering tender kisses below the belt while transferring the product to your delicate tissues. It provides a warm buzzy sensation, and does not contain L-Aginine or Menthol.

I also appreciate that it does not contain preservatives. Some of us with picky pussies and/or compromised immune systems have difficulty maintaining a healthy pH balance, so avoiding parabens or other iffy antimicrobials ensures a more comfortable morning after a wild night. As long as you don’t have a tree nut allergy (sweet almond oil is the first ingredient listed), issues with cinnamon (cinnamon essential oil is the second) or are not currently pregnant (it also contains rosemary oil which can cause uterine contractions), then a $4 sample packet is an inexpensive toe dip in to the water of stimulating creams, gels, and oils. Bonus points if you dab some on before a trip to the flea market or Costco. Really gives a lazy Sunday afternoon a certain zing!

First Vibrating Anal Plug:

Power Gem Vibrating Crystal Probe from CalExotics

I almost didn’t include this item. Not because I don’t enjoy it, not because I don’t trust in its quality, or because I despise adorably designed anal toys. Quite frankly, I just worry that my ass is a hungry-hungry-hippo and my sense of an “average size” plug is slightly warped.

Then I realized there is a Petite version of this product for $4.00 less ($48 vs $44) and is about half an inch shorter.

Both versions still have 10 amazing speeds, are rechargeable and silicone coated (my preference for anal play) AND both are controlled by the gem accent at the base. That’s right, a big shiny diamond in your booty is pressed to help you orgasm.

Add a penis, dildo or fist vaginally and see what kind of beast y’all unleash. Depending on your level of comfort you might also use the plug to prepare your ass for a partner to penetrate you later that day. With a one year warranty behind the product, you can frolic to your heart’s content whilst wearing your sparkly plug. Y’all forget needing a “kick in the rear” to tackle the laundry laying on that random chair far from your closet- you may discover exactly the motivation you needed just by adding a subtle (or hella powerful) buzz in the backdoor.

I hope these suggestions give you an idea of what brands and models are a safe venture into a new part of the grand map of adult products. Regardless of income, we all deserve support towards quality items that enhance our sensual intimacy, either with ourselves or some lucky chosen humans. Pleasure should not become an additional class barrier.

*Rune Longoria is a queer, trans, Latin@ sex educator and intimacy consultant based on the border of Texas and Mexico. With 10 years of community health, LGBTQIA+, reproductive justice advocacy and education behind them, their goal is to empower and inspire ALL people to claim their pleasure radically and acknowledge consent openly, in every avenue of life. They also would appreciate including that asexuality is a spectrum that deserves acknowledgment and support within the pleasure industry.

Looking to get your groove on?

Take 10% off your entire purchase at by using code IHBLOG10 at checkout.

Toys to enjoy for folks who don’t always find toys that fit.

A zucchini wrapped in a measuring tape to demonstrate size

Educator Rune Longoria was kind enough to guest post for us, and we are so excited to hear their thoughts!

I don’t know about you, dear reader, but personally I’ve spent 18 plus years trying to both change my body to social norms as well as learn to love this delightful flesh suit despite social norms.

Some days are easier, brighter than others.

Like, when you realize your favorite shirt doesn’t fit the same so you use scissors and a paint scraper to turn it in to a cool tattered crop top and you wear it gut out next weekend and everyone compliments you

Some moments are unexpectedly bitter.

Like when you randomly remember that one partner who once upon a time commented their “last lover’s labia didn’t look like *that*”

Whatever kind of day you’re having, whatever way your sex life is leaning, you deserve affirmation, love and support. Especially when your partner is shopping for you or you’re picking a toy for solo time.

It’s wonderful when toy reviews of folks who may also be beautifully unique manifestations of humanity can give us a greater understanding of how to creatively utilize toys AND apply these techniques to ourselves & our partners. Yet when you search for a super hyped toy, it can also suck feeling alienated by the descriptions of products by people that do not resemble you AT ALL, that describe intimate encounters that make NO SENSE to you, that give you ZERO real answers on how to feel in touch with your own pleasure, my only suggestion is…

Let that shit be.

I’m not saying let it go. Therapy taught me it has never been that simple.

I’m asking you to breathe.



And then…

Three times more.

Are we feeling okay? I hope so. Now whatever it is:

Let that shit be.

Like the screaming child three aisles over at the grocery store.

Like the sticky spot to the left of the elevator on your floor.

Like the chicken pock scar you just noticed next to your eyebrow.

Let that shit be.

It’s not your responsibility to fulfill a particular fantasy. An orgasm for someone else is not a burden you were destined to carry.

Like we tell our nearest and dearest furry pets when they have something in their mouth they shouldn’t: Drop it. Leave it alone.

Find what IS meant for you. Search for what does bring you joy.

I promise folks who want to share space with you intimately but aren’t down to accommodate reasonable requests (using protection, toys, adding fingers, using supportive pillows, etc) do not deserve the miraculous gifts of your body and time.

Fuck. That.

Do. Not. Fuck. Them.

I promise there are plenty of people who will worship the amazing body you inhabit. While you are working to make contact with them, or your own inner deity, or just researching for products to use with your adoring partner, I’d like to recommend a couple products that may achieve super star status with yourself and those special someones.

Satisfyer Pro2

For only $49.95, this champagne-colored cutie with a conveniently extended handle is a general hit for folks of all sizes! The opening for clitoral stimulation is wider than a lot of other products providing external air pulsation, the material is plush while still firm enough to maintain a supportive structure around the clitoris. The accommodating shape for folks with extra tissue in that area ensures they also receive these fabulous sensations regardless of position (may I recommend a pillow under your hips with the Satisfyer Pro 2 positioned underneath you? Adding a dildo, fist, or penis are all wonderful!)

I like that you can still enjoy it regardless of the direction the handle is positioned too. It comes with a 1 year warranty from the manufacturer, Satisfyer, but the warranty does not include skydiving or scuba diving unless explicitly stated.

French Kiss Casanova Flickering Tongue Stimulator with Vibrating Bullet

I LOVE that this product has separate motors for each function. The flicking tongue with different intensities for external enjoyment AND a multi speed vibrating bullet for internal stimulation are incredible combined- no doubt. But I can personally attest they make wonderful additions to actions you already enjoy on your own (or with a partner). You like the clit action with your favorite dildo but the dangling silicone vibe gets in the way? You can insert it for additional anal stimulation OR utilize it against your own nipples. Does your partner have a penis? Ask for consent to tuck the vibrating bullet on a low speed behind their balls while performing oral sex. Or use the flicking function on yourself while giving head to your partner! Your only limit is your imagination! Your ticket to unlimited versatility is just $74!

Fantasy for Her Ultimate Pleasure

Okay I adore this fucking toy. It can suck my clit and lips, eat my ass with a vigorous tongue flick, and penetrate me with a strong 10 speed vibrator. As we say in my hometown “a la madre!” My man is more than willing to create a suction over my labia with his mouth while flicking my clit with his tongue. He’s great at it! But men are human. And humans are not robots. So they need rest sometimes… But this toy? You will call it quits before this handheld powerhouse does! Phenomenal on your own. Then when your partner’s jaw is exhausted and their tongue is a useless lump, slurring their words after an extensive session of oral, pull out this beauty. The $162 price is intimidating to some but considering it’s a rechargeable penetrative toy, has 3 patterns of suction for the vulva, 7 velocities of tongue action, and 10 vibration modes PLUS a 30-day warranty from Pipedream Product, it’s a no-brainer.

*The description says waterproof, but I’ve discovered from my own experience that the toy is purely splash proof. So you can cleanse it in the sink while it’s turned off. I do not recommend using the toy in a shower while turned on.

*Rune Longoria is a queer, trans, Latin@ sex educator and intimacy consultant based on the border of Texas and Mexico. With 10 years of community health, LGBTQIA+, reproductive justice advocacy and education behind them, their goal is to empower and inspire ALL people to claim their pleasure radically and acknowledge consent openly, in every avenue of life. They also would appreciate including that asexuality is a spectrum that deserves acknowledgment and support within the pleasure industry.

Looking to get your groove on?

Take 10% off your entire purchase at by using code IHBLOG10 at checkout.

The Best Grinding Toys for Full Vulva Pleasure

A woman sitting bareback on a white horse in a desert setting.

Not that into penetrative sex toys? No problem! The latest pleasure trend is all about your clitoris and vulva with vibrators made for bumpin’ and grindin.’

Grind-able vibrators are a whole new niche in sex toy design that was way overdue. We already knew the clitoris was queen, but grinding toys bring a whole new meaning to external orgasms.

Caressing the labia, humping the pelvic bone against cushion-y soft silicone, and rubbing the entirety of a lubed-up vulva against vibrating ridges and bumps are in a sensually delicious category all their own.

If you prefer vibration-assisted humping over penetrative activities, grinding sex toys are the answer to your self-love prayers. We’ve gathered a handful of our favorite pleasure devices that skip sticking it in (and a couple that’ll work with dildos or during sex, too) in favor of massaging your vulva like you’ve never experienced before (at least not with a vibrator, anyway).

Lust Remote Control Dual Rider

The Lust by CalExotics is a luxury, saddle-style vibrator made to rumble down under. Lust features 2 independent motors nestled under soft and comfortable silicone humps with gentle, ridged texture.

Lay down the Lust vibrator on your bed, a couch or chair, or anywhere you dare to grind away. The Lust’s remote control switches between 12 different vibration modes, and you can even control each motor separately.

Strip off your undies to feel the sublime vibrations and texture of Lust against a bare, lubed-up vulva. You can even ride Lust with your panties or jeans on!

Enby 2 Flexible, Rechargeable Vibrator

The Enby 2 by Wildflower Sex might look like a bicycle seat, but this grinding pad does everything except crush your genitals until they’re numb.

Enby 2 is quite possibly the most versatile, external sex toy ever. You can shove it down the front of your underwear and hump it, plop it down on a pillow and grind on it, or even fold it over the arm of your couch and screw it.

The super-duper flexible, silicone Enby 2 vibrates with 3 speeds and 3 patterns. Flip Enby 2 on its back to discover a row of ridges for extra stimulation. And don’t forget the lube!

Leaf+ Spirit Panty Vibe

Small, discreet, and perfectly shaped for clitoral grinding, the Leaf+ Spirit is designed to chill in your underwear and rumble your clit, hands-free style.

Leaf +Spirit provides slightly more direct vibrations to the clitoris than the Enby 2 via its slender, slim width. Spirit delivers 7 different vibration modes altogether, composed of 3 pattern modes and 4 speed intensities.

What we especially love about the Leaf+ Spirit is that, similar to the Enby 2, it’s completely flexible with no hard, inner core, so you can grind to your heart’s content without bruising your pubic bone.

Liberator Humphrey Sex Toy Pillow

Remember the good ol’ days of humping a pillow, long before you grew your sex toy collection? Liberator is bringing (grinding) sexy back with the Humphrey sex toy pillow, a cushion made just for holding your favorite vibrators in a hump-friendly position.

The Liberator Humphrey is your high school BFF reinvented. Covered in soft, washable and removable fabric, Humphrey has 2 differently sized pockets to hold whatever vibrators, wands, or dongs you can stick inside.

Use Humphrey to combine vulva grinding and penetration by stuffing one of the pockets with a vibrating dildo and then adding the Enby 2 or Leaf+ Spirit vibrator underneath your vulva. You can also stick with external stim by tucking a vibe into the pocket and then sealing it off inside.

Screaming O Charged Rub-It! Grinding Vibe

Ideal for solo grinding or wide-contact clitoral stim during couples play, the Rub-It! By Screaming O is a hand-held vibrator that hits all your external pleasure spots at once.

Small enough to hold between 2 fingers, but large enough to vibrate your entire vulva area (even up towards the pubic bone!), Rub-It features a whopping 20 vibration modes.

Try tucking the Rub-It between a couple of pillows, nestle it in a pile of blankets, or shove it into the sealing pocket of the Liberator Humphrey sex toy pillow.

Looking to get your groove on?

Take 10% off your entire purchase at by using code IHBLOG10 at checkout.

Sweat Your Way to Better Sex! – Your Guide to the Orgasmic Power of Kegels

KegelIn the words of Queen Britney, You better work, b*tch! When you’re getting your sweat on, don’t forget the most important muscles of all – the ones in your vajayjay (and we’re pretty sure Ms. Spears would agree).

Kegel exercises are as trendy as rose gold jewelry and hot yoga classes, and for good reason. This simple pelvic floor workout of squeezing and releasing your PC muscles is the key to more intense orgasms, better sex, and a healthier vagina. Doing daily kegels can even help you bounce back from pregnancy or control those little squirts of pee that sneak out when you laugh or sneeze, better known as incontinence.

Kegel repetitions work to tighten the muscles of the pelvic floor and vaginal walls. Though science has long busted the myth that lots of amazing sex or multiple partners will forever leave you loose, the pelvic muscles can lose their tone and strength over time, just like the rest of your body when you cheat on your fitness routine for too long. If you’ve given birth, you’ll also notice a change in the tightness of your vaginal muscles.

All this stuff is totally normal, but your health and pleasure depend on physical fitness to keep your insides in tip-top shape. When those downstairs muscles are properly primed, you’ll enjoy stronger orgasms and more internal pleasure during penetration.

Adding some Kegels to your repertoire is like eating a whole box of chocolate-covered cherries after your regular workout (except orgasms are way better for your body than processed sugars).

Let’s get you started with an easy-peasy Kegel routine, some goodies to spice up your workout, and a little orgasmic game to throw in for motivation.

How the Heck Does a Kegel Work?

You can do a Kegel from wherever you’re sitting or laying down, and that’s what makes them pretty much awesome. Simply clench your vaginal muscles together, kind of like when you’re holding in a fart (yes, really, that’s it!). You’ll feel your butt cheeks and thighs clench up at the same time. To check that you’re doing it right, use those same muscles to stop the flow of urine the next time you’re on the toilet. If the stream stops, you’re doing it right.

Now clench and hold, and see how long you can keep those muscles flexed. Ideally, aim for 5-10 seconds clenched, and then release. Congrats! You’ve done your first Kegel.

Ready, Get Set, Vagina Reps!

Keeping up with your Kegels is no different from any other fitness routine. You’ve got to stick with it on the daily, but thankfully you don’t have to hit the gym. You can do the ol’ squeeze-and-release while sitting at the office, watching a movie, or anywhere that allows you some down time to yourself.

For beginners, start by clenching for 5 seconds, relaxing for 5 seconds, and then repeating this pattern 10 times in sets of 3. Work your way up to clenching for 10 seconds and then relaxing for 10, also aiming for 3 sets of 10 reps.

Twist It Up With Some “Exercise Equipment”

You’ll eventually want to add some resistance to move up to the next level, or maybe you could use a little coaching to get it right. There are all sorts of sexy workout toys to guide your routine or add some light weights to build that kitty into a fierce, dildo-crushing jaguar. (Ok, we’re kidding, you probably won’t crush your sex toy, but your partner will definitely feel the difference.)

Bloom by We-Wibe


We-Vibe’s luxurious Bloom is for the Kegel-ciser who wants it all. Bloom’s smart phone app guides you through your workout like a mini personal trainer. You can even swap out the weights to match your endurance level. Those 10 rumbly vibrations keep you motivated and on track for success.


Pussy Playballs Kegel Training Set by Rianne S


Take your Kegel toys on the go with this ultra girly kit from fashion-forward brand Rianne S. The Pussy Playballs are basic Kegel weights disguised as adorable accessories in their coral-pink cosmetic bag. Each of the 4 balls adds on a little more weight, making it easy to step up your workout anytime.


Body & Soul Entice Kegel Balls


These easy-to-remove Kegel balls keep it super basic, and they’re perfect for beginners on a budget. The stretchy silicone string and smooth, polished plastic balls help you figure out just how to wrap your v-muscles around their first workout toy.


Fantasy for Her Remote Kegel Exercise-Her


If the duo-ball shape doesn’t do it for you, these Fantasy for Her Kegel balls are designed like a tear drop and made just as much for orgasms as exercise. Ten vibration modes take you through a whirlwind workout routine, which we’re pretty sure is going to wind up going south into climax land pretty quickly. You can even use this versatile piece of strength training equipment as an external bullet vibe.


Kegel Your Way to an Orgasmic Workout

Once you’ve gotten the kick of Kegel-ing, now comes the fun and games. You can combine your self-pleasure sessions with your daily down-there workout to add in a little reward – orgasms!

Choose a Kegel toy that vibrates as you squeeze, and as you go about your reps, notice how the vibrations ripple through your sacred space. Feel those heavenly vibes stimulate your g-spot and rumble up through your clitoris as you clench. Move your mindset from weightlifting champ to masturbation mode, and enjoy the subtle sensations of the toy as it rocks inside you.

Once you’ve gotten through your usual round of reps, you’ll be all worked up and ready to reach the finish line. Keep going with a few more reps of clench-and-release (or start your Kegel-ciser’s program from the beginning), but this time, slowly massage your clitoris as the Kegel toy’s vibrations bring you to the brink. Hold off for as long as you can, savoring the uniquely subtle pleasure of this deliciously gentle yet deep self-love technique.

When you’re ready, let yourself climax as the Kegel toy gushes forth another 10 second rep of vibration. In this tuned-in state, you’ll feel every last wave as your orgasm matches the toy’s burst of vibes.

Now who said working out has to suck?

Looking to get your groove on?

Take 10% off your entire purchase at by using code IHBLOG10 at checkout.

Think Pink: Your Vibrator Purchase Benefits Living Beyond Breast Cancer


Inspire is a collection of thoughtfully designed products aimed at improving the lives of women on their journey for heightened sexual experiences.

A portion of proceeds from Inspire products always benefits Living Beyond Breast Cancer (LBBC), a non-profit that provides programs and services to those affected by breast cancer. In honor of breast cancer awareness month, the manufacturer of the line, CalExotics, is doubling their regular donation! Double the proceeds from each sale of Inspire will go to LBBC to continue the fight and help women take control of their sexual health.

Here are some of the Inspire items we here at love the most. Like all of our powered items, they are all rechargeable, waterproof, and backed by a manufacturer’s warranty:


Inspire Flickering Intimate Arouser
Inspire Flickering Intimate Arouser

This oscillating arouser was designed to enhance intimate sensitivity, and offers 10 functions of vibration, pulsation and escalation. The ergonomically curved handle ends in a silky silicone cup that houses a soft flickering tongue-like tip for incredible sensations and full-contact arousal.

Inspire Vibrating G-Wand Bendable Massager
Inspire Vibrating G-Wand Bendable Massager

The Vibrating G-Wand offers a bulbous tip to strengthen the pelvic floor, and 10 functions of vibration, pulsation and escalation to help increase circulation and blood flow. The shaft flexes and bends for multi-directional positioning, making sure that you’ll always hit the right spot.

Inspire Vibrating Ultimate Wand
Inspire Vibrating Ultimate Wand

The Ultimate Wand is a vibrating massager you can use to increase circulation and decrease muscle pain anywhere on the body, as well as an intimately sensual personal stimulator. Dressed in premium silicone, it offers 10 functions of vibration, pulsation and escalation.

Inspire Silicone Dilator Kit
Inspire Silicone Dilator Kit

Dilator therapy is an at-home treatment known to restore and revive vaginal strength and comfort by gradually allowing the user to comfortably reduce pelvic floor muscle tension by training those muscles to relax. The Inspire Dilator Kit contains a range of different sized dilators to allow for appropriate size and progression of treatment over time at your own pace.

Looking to get your groove on?

Take 10% off your entire purchase at by using code IHBLOG10 at checkout.

5 Steps to a Healthy and Orgasmic Pelvic Floor from Kinkly


Takeaway: Taking care of your pelvic floor could lead to the best orgasms of your life.


The pelvic floor.

You’ve probably heard this term and it certainly doesn’t sound sexy. However, this area of your body is key to sexual health, sexual performance and your enjoyment of sex.

Now I’ve got your attention, right? Here we’ll take a look at the pelvic floor, how it works and what you can do to keep yours as healthy – and orgasmic – as possible.

Read More . . . 


Hooking Up? 4 Things You Should Bring With You for a Successful Hook Up

By Tiffy Kink (guest Sex Blogger/ Sex Toy Reviewer) of

IH 1.jpg

Hookups are meant be an exciting new adventure that can be fun and pleasure-filled for both parties involved. However, if you fail to plan, you plan to fail –  Meaning, you may not get to enjoy your hookup the way you want to if you don’t bring the right stuff.

So here is a list of 4 things you should bring with you that can help lead to a successful hook-up.

1 – Consent and a Positive Attitude

Of course it’s a given that you’re going to hookup with someone that consent is already assumed right?

But consent is not just about meeting up and getting’ it on. It’s also about all the stuff in between. The different styles of sex you or your partner may want to have or new things they or you may want to try that may be unfamiliar.

Consent is also about having a clear line of communication and not being afraid to let your partner know what you want, when you want it, how you want it, and when you have had enough. Consent is the most important aspect to a successful hookup.

2 – Condoms

Another given, especially if you’re hooking up with someone and you don’t know their status or you do know their status.

Condoms are great for protection against pregnancy, STD’s, and STI’s. Picking out condoms can be a little tricky if you don’t know the size of your partner, he is well-endowed, or you just don’t know what he likes.

When in doubt, ask your partner what condoms he likes or simply ask him to buy some. No shame in asking.

Here are my condom recommendation(s).



3 – Lube

Lube makes everything sexier.

It makes sex more slippery (in a good way of course!), more comfortable, and even more delicious. Adding lube to sex just makes things better. Adding too much lube on the other hand, can make things sticky and too slippery to enjoy the all fun. So always remember the golden rule: Always start with a little, then add more if needed.

Here are my lube recommendations.

Wicked ultra.jpg

Pjur Woman Silicone.jpg

Good Clean Lov.jpg

Sliquid Organics Natural Gel.jpg

4 – A Vibrator

Sex toys are great for spicing things up in the bedroom or wherever you plan to get it on.

Vibrators are great for adding some extra stimulation to you and your partner’s favorite pleasure zones or even experiencing new sensations and finding new sweet spots together.

Here are my personal recommendations:



Charged Positive.jpg

Marvelous Flicker.jpg

Always remember that having a positive attitude usually leads to getting a positive outcome. Keeping the door open for communication and open-mindedness is key. Know your limits and don’t be afraid to express them to your partner. Always practice safe sex.

*If you liked what you read, you can read more of Tiffy Kink’s work at

Looking to get your groove on? Take 10% off your entire purchase at by using code IHBLOG10 at checkout.

According To Science, Women Enjoy Sex More Than Men Do


You read that right.

This may come as a surprise to both sexes, but compared to guys, women tend to win the orgasm lottery. At least that’s the finding of a study conducted by Concordia research and published last month in the lyrically named Socioaffective Neuroscience & Psychology journal.

Concordia’s findings were that variety is the spice of a woman’s bedroom life. Unlike men, who are limited to the same old, same old when it comes to the big O, women have remarkable opportunities to get all shivery and shaky from a number of sources.

The study’s authors looked at vaginal and clitoral orgasms. Whether one or the other is real has been debated by sex researchers for years. According to the release that broke down the study results, researchers arrived “at a new understanding of the female orgasm that incorporates the external clitoral glans, the internal region around the G-spot, the cervix and sensory stimulation of non-genital areas such as the nipples.”

Senior study author Jim Pfaus was quoted as saying that through “experience, stimulation of one or all of these triggering zones are integrated into a ‘whole’ set of sensory inputs, movements, body positions, arousals and cues related to context.”

According to Pfaus, the combined inputs “is what reliably induces pleasure and orgasm during masturbation and intercourse” for women.

Even more interesting, Pfaus and his co-authors concluded that the elements that mix to make that magic moment can change over time “as women experience different kinds of orgasms from different types of sensations in different contexts and with different partners.”

Pfaus emphasized that their findings underscored that the assumption a woman’s orgasm is some variation on the male version is dead wrong. “Unlike men,” said Pfaus, “women can have a remarkable variety of orgasmic experiences, which evolve” over time. The landmarks on a map of sweet spots all across a woman’s body “is not etched in stone,” Pfaus said, “but rather is an ongoing process” and determined through experimentation and discovery.


Women Enjoy Sex More Than Men Do was originally published on Maxim.

Looking to get your groove on? Take 10% off your entire purchase at by using code IHBLOG10 at checkout.

These Are the New Orgasm Statistics Every Woman Should See


Are you not having an orgasm every time you have sex? You’re not alone.

Only 57% of women usually have orgasms when they have sex with a partner, according to new data from Cosmopolitan‘s Female Orgasm Survey. Now compare that to their partners, who are apparently orgasming 95% of the time, the women say. Notice how far apart those are?

This recent study, which surveyed more than 2,300 women ages 18 to 40, captures what a lot of women are realizing about their orgasms: There are still clear obstacles standing between women and the pleasure they deserve.

Mechanical issues

Simple as it may sound, many women’s orgasm problems can be chalked up to bad mechanics. Fifty percent of women said their partners were almost there but just couldn’t quite bring them home. Thirty-eight percent of women claimed there wasn’t enough clitoral stimulation, and 35% of women said they weren’t getting the right kind of clitoral stimulation.

These stats are unsurprising when you realize how essential the clitoris is in helping a woman achieve orgasm. While percentages are hard to pin down, experts say most women need to have their clitoris stimulated in order to orgasm; and yet the clit remains a mysterious body part. In a 2005 study of 833 undergraduate students, women and men were just as likely to mislabel the clitoris on a diagram.

Having better knowledge of the parts can indeed help the mechanics. A 2014 study from the Journal of Sexual Medicine found that lesbian women orgasm about 75% of the time during sex with a consistent partner. Notice how high that is? The researchers concluded that homosexual women are more comfortable with their bodies and their partners’, and thus able to achieve orgasm more easily, as reported by Mic‘s Erin Brodwin.

Physically, we can also help things along by relaxing: According to the Cosmo survey, 32% of women are getting caught up in their own head and getting focused on how they look in bed.

Getting the attention we deserve

While 78% of women believed their partners cared about their orgasm, 72% of women still experienced a time when their partner climaxed but made no attempt to help them finish. Ouch.

Leaving a woman high and dry might come from a lack of mechanical understanding, but the orgasm gap also reflects how our cultural views of men’s versus women’s pleasure. After all, it takes much longer on average for a woman to orgasm (up to 20 or even 40 minutes, some experts say), and yet the standard expectation is that sex ends when a man comes.

That’s one reason why, according to Cosmo‘s survey, up to 67% of women have ever faked an orgasm. “It’s partly social; our culture gives more value to behaviors that result in orgasm for men,” Indiana University sex researcher Debby Herbenick told Slate.

It’s important to remember the responsibility for —and entitlement to — pleasure isn’t on one partner, but rather on both. “Chances are, people aren’t communicating in bed about what works for them,” Michelle Ruiz, senior editor at Cosmopolitan, told Mic.

It’s in our hands

So how are women actually achieving orgasm, if they’re not always coming from their partners? Often, it’s on their own. The survey found that 39% of women reach most of their orgasms through use of a hand or sex toy.

“Don’t just expect someone to magically know how to please you,” said Ruiz. “Champion your own orgasm as well! Masturbate and experiment on your own and find out what turns you on, so you can let a partner know. Then, let a partner know.”

With more and more toys and tools for women to achieve orgasm hitting the market, and more conversations opening up about where female pleasure actually comes from, there’s never been a better time to work towards closing the orgasm gap. After all, if the statistics are right, it’s in men’s and women’s hands.


These Are the New Orgasm Statistics Every Woman Should See was originally posted on Mic.


8 Things Every Woman Should Know About Her Libido


Here today, gone tomorrow — your libido can be puzzling, to say the least.

But that ebb and flow is completely natural, says Lauren Streicher, MD, clinical associate professor of obstetrics and gynecology at Northwestern Memorial Hospital in Chicago: “All women go through periods when they feel especially frisky, as well as times when they just seem to have lost their mojo.” Read on to learn about the many reasons your libido may come and go, and how to find it when you miss it. Curious about aphrodisiacs? We’ve got those too, from strawberries to Savasana.

The brain is your biggest sex organ

Your brain is where the spark starts. Five of the most important areas:

Ventral striatum: A 2012 fMRI study found that this area lights up when you see something lust-inducing (like, say, Idris Elba):

  • Amygdala: Some research suggests that your sex drive may be proportional to the size of your amygdala, the almond-shaped emotion center of your brain.
  • Hypothalamus: When you experience something rewarding (such as a great kiss), this part of the brain produces dopamine, a neurotransmitter that’s critical for pleasure and motivation.
  • Cerebral cortex: The brain’s outer layer of gray matter is responsible for higher functions, including thoughts about sex. It triggers a chain reaction that ultimately leads to the production of sex hormones.
  • Pituitary: This gland secretes luteinizing hormone, which stimulates your ovaries to produce estrogen. It also makes the “mothering” hormone prolactin — typically during pregnancy and breastfeeding — which lowers libido.

Desire may increase with age

A 2010 study showed that as a woman’s fertility wanes in her 30s and 40s, her sexual fantasies become more frequent and steamier (!) and her sex drive becomes stronger overall.

Researchers suspect it’s an evolutionary trick, designed to up your odds of procreating by encouraging you to do the deed more often. Life circumstances play a role, too, says Dr. Streicher, who wrote Sex Rx: Hormones, Health, and Your Best Sex Ever. “You’re more comfortable with your partner and less worried about contraception,” she explains.

Of course, there’s also the confidence that comes with age: A large 2015 survey discovered that most women who find sex more pleasurable as they get older credit their improved body image. After all, there’s nothing like feeling sexy to put you in the mood.

The pink pill has perks—and risks

Last year, the FDA approved Addyi, the first-ever Rx sex drug for women. Unlike its male counterpart, Viagra, which works by improving blood flow to the genital region, Addyi is thought to boost desire by altering the balance of neurotransmitters (like serotonin and dopamine) in a woman’s brain.

Alas, the daily pill, approved for premenopausal women, has a range of unsexy possible side effects — including nausea, dizziness, and sleepiness — and alcohol isn’t allowed while you’re on it.

For postmenopausal women, there are other options that may help increase libido, such as the topical cream ON Libido, or the daily wellness supplement Hot Rawks.

Stress kills your sex drive

“Lab research has shown that women experiencing stress, as evidenced by increased cortisol, have less response to erotic cues,” says Sheryl Kingsberg, PhD, chief of the division of behavioral medicine at University Hospitals Case Medical Center in Cleveland.

“Stress is a tremendous distracter,” she explains. “It takes away from your ability to focus and be fully present.” But distraction isn’t the only factor. Tension can take a toll on a relationship, too. It’s not surprising that a Monmouth University study found that couples placed in stressful situations behaved more poorly to each other. “Disdain and anger are definitely not aphrodisiacs,” says Dr. Streicher.

Stress can also prevent you from sleeping enough, leaving you too pooped to get busy. The good news: A 2015 study revealed that just one extra hour of shut-eye a night leads to a 14 percent boost in libido.

Some medications can affect sex drive

Some meds can make your sex drive take a nosedive. If you suspect that any of these drugs are to blame, ask your doctor about switching to an alternative.

  • Birth control pills: They lower levels of active estrogen and testosterone, explains Dr. Streicher. Progestin-only pills and IUDs are just as effective at preventing pregnancy and don’t tamp down libido.
  • SSRIS: These antidepressants are known libido busters, but a different type of drug — bupropion — is less likely to affect sex drive.
  • Blood pressure meds: In a French study, 41 percent of postmenopausal women taking these drugs reported lowered sexual desire. Beta-blockers, often used to treat hypertension, are common culprits. You may want to consider trying valsartan, another type of blood pressure med that has actually been shown to boost libido.
  • Antihistamines: These drugs tend to dry out mucus-producing cells everywhere in the body, including the vagina, says Dr. Streicher. But the side effect is less common with second-generation antihistamines (like Zyrtec and Claritin). There are nondrug allergy treatments as well, such as immunotherapy shots and pills, and of course the use of a personal lubricant always helps.

Yoga can help

Can Downward Dog really up your libido? When researchers had women do an hour of yoga daily, they found that nearly 75 percent were more satisfied with their sex life after 12 weeks.

It makes sense, given the relaxing effects of yoga. “By facilitating deeper breathing and calming the autonomic nervous system, yoga can help direct more blood flow to the pelvic organs,” says Timothy McCall, MD, author of Yoga as Medicine. So we asked yoga teacher Kate Hanley, author of A Year of Daily Calm, for three lust-stimulating poses.

Her top picks: Cobra (it might trigger a surge in testosterone, according to a 2004 study), Extended Side Angle (it stretches out your pelvis), and Savasana (it quiets the chatter in your mind).

If your libido is MIA, see your MD

It’s tempting to dismiss a dwindling sex drive, chalking it up to a hectic month (or year)—but any significant drop that lasts more than a few weeks is worth getting checked out, says Dr. Streicher.“You may have an underlying medical condition,” she explains.

At the top of the list of possibilities: hypothyroidism, which can affect the production of sex hormones, and depression, which interferes with feel-good neurotransmitters. The problem could also be hypertension or even undiagnosed type 2 diabetes.

The fact is, virtually any chronic condition can wreak havoc on your libido, says Dr. Streicher, because “your body has little energy left for anything else.” If you’ve lost your sex drive, see your doc, she urges. The right treatment could get you back on track.

Certain foods can help

Spice things up! Health’s nutritionist, Cynthia Sass, RD, serves up five tasty aphrodisiacs.

  • Berries: Blueberries and strawberries both contain an antioxidant called anthocyanin, which boosts circulation, creating a “natural Viagra effect,” explains Sass. One cup a week can also help prevent high blood pressure, according to 2011 research.
  • Red wine: It’s loaded with polyphenols, which help improve blood flow. Women who enjoy a glass or two of red wine a day report more sexual desire than teetotalers, according to a study done in Italy (naturally).
  • Watermelon: Thank citrulline, a nutrient that sets off a chain reaction to relax blood vessels and increase circulation to all parts of your body, according to research from Texas A&M University.
  • Chickpeas: The humble garbanzo bean is a terrific source of zinc, which has been shown to help regulate testosterone levels in men, says Sass. For a date-night appetizer, serve him a batch of roasted chickpeas or some roasted veggies with hummus.
  • Licorice: A study by the Smell & Taste Treatment and Research Foundation in Chicago found that the scent of Good & Plenty licorice candy, when mixed with the smell of cucumber, triggered a 13 percent increase in vaginal blood flow. Go figure!

8 Things Every Woman Should Know About Her Libido originally appeared on

%d bloggers like this: