If you’ve waited until just now to consider hitting the mall for Christmas shopping, let’s be honest: we kinda pity you (and we mean that with love, really).
If your daily commute hasn’t been enough of a reminder that holiday traffic season has arrived, just wait until you’re almost rear-ended for the 10th time while looking for a parking spot at a department store. Trust us, it’s a really good time to stay inside (or at least off the road) at all costs!
If you’re like us (and basically everyone under the age of 50), you’ve probably procrastinated your Christmas shopping until the literal last minute and then whoops, what the hell are you supposed to get in everything’s-sold-out December that doesn’t suck?
Well, you know what kind of Christmas gifts almost never suck (unless that’s what they’re literally supposed to do)? Sex toys. In all our years of giving and receiving pleasure products, we’ve not once seen a disappointed face after unwrapping a vibrator.
While a sex toy might not be ideal for your grandma, Indigo Honey made sure to stock up on loads of other goodies, like bath salts, jewelry, and perfume kits, so you don’t have to spend hours cruising the net for the whole family.
Check out our top picks for last-minute gifts for everyone on your list, including your slut-shaming great aunts and that one new girl friend that hasn’t talked about her masturbation habits yet (and if she doesn’t, you’re probably going to ghost her eventually anyway).
For That Friend Who Just Won’t Get Off Their Damn Smart Phone – the Gballs² Kegel Fitness Coach
Did you really think you were going to convince your social media and app addict of a pal to put down their phone? Of course you didn’t! But thankfully for your smart phone-obsessed friend, there’s an app for just about any sex toy experience you can dream up.
The Gballs 2 Kegel Fitness Coach is a vibrating Kegel-ciser toy that connects to an app full of phone-centered exercise activities. While your phone-crazy gal pal is getting her kicks and clicks, she’ll be toning her pelvic floor muscles at the same time, which results in stronger orgasms and more penetrative pleasure during sex.
The Gballs 2 even tracks your success and rewards you with g-spot rumbling vibrations when you complete each course. She’ll be so caught up in chasing the next level of workout rewards that she’ll forget she’s actually doing something healthy for her body instead of just staring blankly at Instagram. Who says exercise has to be boring and tedious?
For the Adventurous Type Who’s Always Up for a Challenge – the b-Vibe Petite Rimming Plug
They’ve back-packed around Thailand, hitch-hiked through Hawaii, and fearlessly couch-surfed across Australia. But has your globe-trotting, nomadic bestie tried anal yet?
The b-Vibe Petite Rimming Plug is the sort of pleasure challenge that adventurous types can’t resist. For those that haven’t indulged in booty play yet, the b-Vibe Petite is – hence the name – small enough to make any first-time anal encounter relaxing and comfortable.
But what sets the b-Vibe Petite apart from other tiny anal plugs are the rows of spinning beads that circulate around the neck of the toy. For the uninitiated, “rimming” is essentially oral sex for your bum hole, and b-Vibe’s star product aims to recreate that sublime feeling of having a partner’s tongue tickling your rear. Add in b-Vibe’s extra vibration options and your thrill-seeking best friend has just found their latest conquest.
We’ve all got that one friend who’s The Little Mermaid of sex toys. She’s got gadgets and gizmos a-plenty, but it’s no big deal to this real-life Ariel because she always wants more. Oh yeah, and she doesn’t need some dude or chick to please her because she’s got a whole drawer full of battery-powered orgasms at her fingertips.
The LELO Sona Cruise took the cake this year in sex toy innovation. You’ve probably heard the buzz about oral sex simulators for clitorises. Every company has a different name for the air pressure-powered technique that creates repetitive suction around the clit – Sonic Wave, Pressure Wave, et cetera – which some babes claim can make them come in less than a minute. Whatever you want to call it, this is the kind of stimulation women have been raving about all year long.
The Sona Cruise is LELO’s take on this hot trend, adding a function called Cruise Control that ensures the toy doesn’t lose any suction power as you press it into your skin. Cycle through Sona Cruise’s 8 different wave settings to fit your power preferences.
If you’ve got a queen in your life, you know she’ll settle for nothing less than a little slice of royalty under the tree. She’s fierce, independent, and incredible, and what better way to serve your majesty than with a luxury sex toy that does it all?
The ZALO Queen is a vibrator, g-spot toy, and oral sex simulator all in one. Adorned in gold accents with an Egyptian flair, the Queen vibrates with 8 levels of escalating speed and pulsation. The Queen’s flat-tipped, curved wand is perfect for broad clitoral stimulation and working those g-spot angles. It’s also just damn gorgeous to leave out on your nightstand.
What sets the Queen apart from the rest – just like your own royal babe – is her ability to knock out orgasms like they’re life goals. Slip the ZALO Queen‘s included silicone sleeve over the end of the wand, and presto! This vibrator turns into a PulseWave oral sex simulator that sensually sucks on her clit using waves of air pressure.
We’ve all got that one sorta- friend who just hadn’t quite crossed the acquaintance line yet. She seems super chill, and you get along great, but you’re doing that annoyingly slow, drawn out process of making adult friends and waiting to see if she’s laid-back enough to join your crew. It’s probably not a good time to spring for a vibrator as a gift (unless you’re that kind of new friend, which we totally support and love).
The Shunga Oriental Bath Crystals, which include a floating tea light candle and seashell scooper, are just the right blend of sensual, decadent, and thoughtful. If she’s into spiritual me-time, like yoga, meditation, or hot stone massages, this organic, Dead Sea salt crystal kit will show her that you get her mindful side. If she’s the princess of self-pampering, she’ll feel totally spoiled by the idea of a skin-soothing scented bath surrounded by candlelight. And if she’s nowhere near any of the above, who in their right mind wouldn’t appreciate a good ol’ fashioned hot bath?
For Your Great Aunt Martha Who Thinks Vibrators Are For Sluts – the Vintage Snowflake Necklace
Did you really think you were going to find a gift for everyone on your list at Indigo Honey? Oh no, you didn’t – but oh yes, we did!
Gifting a vibrator isn’t for everyone. Although your grandmothers and great aunts will unfortunately never know what they’re missing, it’s probably not wise or considerate to throw a sexy toy in their face (even if you swear they’ll thank you later). Besides, do you really want to start another dinner table conversation about “those darn liberal youngsters?”
This golden, vintage-style necklace is one of those timeless gifts that works for anyone who loves jewelry and a little bit of sparkle. Let’s face it, it’s hard to find winter or Christmas-themed jewelry that doesn’t look like a reject from the costume department of your 3rd grade holiday talent show. We love that this petite snowflake charm makes a subtle, classy statement.
Looking to get your groove on?
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