Products under $50 worth trying out

Educator Rune Longoria was kind enough to guest post for us, and we are so excited to hear their thoughts!

Have y’all won the lottery yet? Me either! Fingers crossed though! Do you have the kind of income where you can just drop hundreds of dollars on a new type of toy without a second thought? If so, amazing! I celebrate your good fortune, but I admit it’s not something I (and most folks I know) can relate to. For many of us, sex toys are at the bottom of a long list that starts with “Mortgage/Rent”, then continues with “Utilities, Student Loans, Health Insurance, Diapers, Groceries, etc.” and usually way way wayyyyy at the bottom (especially if you’re a parent!) the list may include “an affordable sex toy”.

Sexual expression is a human right. If you’re not harming someone else, you should be able to explore and express those desires if you so choose. You also shouldn’t be exiled to stinky, toxic, battery operated, bullshit toys because you happen to struggle in a society designed to stifle socioeconomic upward mobility. But for many folks, the vast array of products, materials, and prices can be intimidating. Add in cultural indoctrination from a young age that “more $$$= better value!” and some first-time toy buyers can end up making hasty decisions that ultimately end up as expensive disappointments.

Now, on one hand I’m grateful y’all are leaving the cucumbers at the grocery store alone. And while the bathtub faucet is reliable as rain, it’s still not great for the planet, your water bill, or your pH balance. Save desperate measures for desperate situations. Hopefully this compilation of fantastic finds under $50 helps you feel a little less confused, frustrated, and overwhelmed.

First Bullet:

Pretty in Pink from Evolved

If you’re making the jump from manual masturbation to mechanical, this is a wonderful launch pad. With a single button control you (or a partner) can operate this toy with ease, switching through the 7 speeds with just the pressure of a finger. It’s also rechargeable, submersible, and like most Evolved Novelties backed by a five-year warranty. If you’re already a well-seasoned toy consumer, the $32 price makes it a wonderful gift or vacation toy. And by vacation, I mean a camping trip at the nearest beach 2 hours away with a cooler full of sandwich fixings and a couple of Dos Equis tall boys. What? Are you gonna bring your fancy $130 suction vibe to the beach? Where there is SAND? Nambe. Don’t be silly.

First Atypical External Vibe:

Slay Pleaser from CalExotics

Not all of us have the ability to grip a small, cylindrical bullet vibe. Sometimes the pointed shaped of a bullet vibe doesn’t provide the necessary contact with our tissues to achieve climax.

Trying a product with more surface area or rumbly vibrations can help those of us struggling to “vibe” with bullets. Since the stingray shape of the Slay Pleaser allows more contact with the wondrous double wishbone shape of the clitoral nerve network, it can be a more effective tool to hit the glorious heights of ecstasy. This green cutie is available for $40 and comes with a one year warranty from Calexotics.

I also really like that it’s quite comfortable tucked behind a strap-on harness for additional stimulation of the wearer! It’s shape and 10 speeds make it a delightful toy to share with your partner. If your partner has a penis (and confirms consent) you can tuck it behind their testicles while performing oral sex. Try varying the direction or pressure you apply the toy to their perineum. Some folks like a constant presence, some like rhythmic strokes. Just remember if your partner expresses discomfort or lack of enjoyment stop the action immediately!

First Set of Kegel Balls:

Rianne S Pussy Playballs Kegel Training Set

Okay so I am a huge fan of pelvic floor exercise, and not just because I’ve gotten into fisting in the last couple years. According to the Mayo Clinic, “Kegel exercises strengthen the pelvic floor muscles, which support the uterus, bladder, small intestine and rectum. You can do Kegel exercises, also known as pelvic floor muscle training, just about any time.” The link connects you to further instructions on isolating your kegel muscles and different exercises to strengthen this region.

But the benefits are basically more bladder control (cancel your subscription to the Pee When You Sneeze Club!) and sexual satisfaction. Yes, we can do these exercises anytime for free, but some of us benefit from designated tools and a regimen (me, a person with ADHD).

You can use a little water-based lube to insert one or two balls inside your vagina, with or without the silicone holder. Some folks prefer the silicone handle to make removal easier. Personally, for myself alone, I enjoy penetrative intercourse while wearing two loose kegel balls. The balls end up rolling around and massaging areas my partner or a dildo may not reach normally. It provides a feeling of fullness I really really like and takes up room in my vagina to provide a snugger fit. Depending on your own health, anatomy, and the oversight of a medical professional this may not be recommended for you.

Checking in with a medical professional is heavily advised, especially because improper kegel exercises can be harmful, just like an improper form while weightlifting at a gym can be harmful. If you get all-clear, then this multi weighted pack with a 2-year warranty and a lockable bag for only $32 is an obvious choice.

First Topical Arousal Product:

ON Arousal Oil (single use ampoule) from Sensuva

I’ve been a fan of this arousal oil since… 2015? 2016? This is a fabulously versatile product you can use to stimulate and enhance sensations in the clit, labia, external anal areas, and nipples.

Depending on how brave your partner is (and whether they have a penis) you can dilute it in your palm with a little plain water based lube and use it to start off a slippery handjob that transitions into oral seamlessly. Likewise, your partner can rub a drop on their lips before performing oral on you, administering tender kisses below the belt while transferring the product to your delicate tissues. It provides a warm buzzy sensation, and does not contain L-Aginine or Menthol.

I also appreciate that it does not contain preservatives. Some of us with picky pussies and/or compromised immune systems have difficulty maintaining a healthy pH balance, so avoiding parabens or other iffy antimicrobials ensures a more comfortable morning after a wild night. As long as you don’t have a tree nut allergy (sweet almond oil is the first ingredient listed), issues with cinnamon (cinnamon essential oil is the second) or are not currently pregnant (it also contains rosemary oil which can cause uterine contractions), then a $4 sample packet is an inexpensive toe dip in to the water of stimulating creams, gels, and oils. Bonus points if you dab some on before a trip to the flea market or Costco. Really gives a lazy Sunday afternoon a certain zing!

First Vibrating Anal Plug:

Power Gem Vibrating Crystal Probe from CalExotics

I almost didn’t include this item. Not because I don’t enjoy it, not because I don’t trust in its quality, or because I despise adorably designed anal toys. Quite frankly, I just worry that my ass is a hungry-hungry-hippo and my sense of an “average size” plug is slightly warped.

Then I realized there is a Petite version of this product for $4.00 less ($48 vs $44) and is about half an inch shorter.

Both versions still have 10 amazing speeds, are rechargeable and silicone coated (my preference for anal play) AND both are controlled by the gem accent at the base. That’s right, a big shiny diamond in your booty is pressed to help you orgasm.

Add a penis, dildo or fist vaginally and see what kind of beast y’all unleash. Depending on your level of comfort you might also use the plug to prepare your ass for a partner to penetrate you later that day. With a one year warranty behind the product, you can frolic to your heart’s content whilst wearing your sparkly plug. Y’all forget needing a “kick in the rear” to tackle the laundry laying on that random chair far from your closet- you may discover exactly the motivation you needed just by adding a subtle (or hella powerful) buzz in the backdoor.

I hope these suggestions give you an idea of what brands and models are a safe venture into a new part of the grand map of adult products. Regardless of income, we all deserve support towards quality items that enhance our sensual intimacy, either with ourselves or some lucky chosen humans. Pleasure should not become an additional class barrier.


*Rune Longoria is a queer, trans, Latin@ sex educator and intimacy consultant based on the border of Texas and Mexico. With 10 years of community health, LGBTQIA+, reproductive justice advocacy and education behind them, their goal is to empower and inspire ALL people to claim their pleasure radically and acknowledge consent openly, in every avenue of life. They also would appreciate including that asexuality is a spectrum that deserves acknowledgment and support within the pleasure industry.


Looking to get your groove on?

Take 10% off your entire purchase at IndigoHoney.com by using code IHBLOG10 at checkout.

Toys to enjoy for folks who don’t always find toys that fit.

A zucchini wrapped in a measuring tape to demonstrate size

Educator Rune Longoria was kind enough to guest post for us, and we are so excited to hear their thoughts!

I don’t know about you, dear reader, but personally I’ve spent 18 plus years trying to both change my body to social norms as well as learn to love this delightful flesh suit despite social norms.

Some days are easier, brighter than others.

Like, when you realize your favorite shirt doesn’t fit the same so you use scissors and a paint scraper to turn it in to a cool tattered crop top and you wear it gut out next weekend and everyone compliments you

Some moments are unexpectedly bitter.

Like when you randomly remember that one partner who once upon a time commented their “last lover’s labia didn’t look like *that*”

Whatever kind of day you’re having, whatever way your sex life is leaning, you deserve affirmation, love and support. Especially when your partner is shopping for you or you’re picking a toy for solo time.

It’s wonderful when toy reviews of folks who may also be beautifully unique manifestations of humanity can give us a greater understanding of how to creatively utilize toys AND apply these techniques to ourselves & our partners. Yet when you search for a super hyped toy, it can also suck feeling alienated by the descriptions of products by people that do not resemble you AT ALL, that describe intimate encounters that make NO SENSE to you, that give you ZERO real answers on how to feel in touch with your own pleasure, my only suggestion is…

Let that shit be.

I’m not saying let it go. Therapy taught me it has never been that simple.

I’m asking you to breathe.

In.

Out.

And then…

Three times more.

Are we feeling okay? I hope so. Now whatever it is:

Let that shit be.

Like the screaming child three aisles over at the grocery store.

Like the sticky spot to the left of the elevator on your floor.

Like the chicken pock scar you just noticed next to your eyebrow.

Let that shit be.

It’s not your responsibility to fulfill a particular fantasy. An orgasm for someone else is not a burden you were destined to carry.

Like we tell our nearest and dearest furry pets when they have something in their mouth they shouldn’t: Drop it. Leave it alone.

Find what IS meant for you. Search for what does bring you joy.

I promise folks who want to share space with you intimately but aren’t down to accommodate reasonable requests (using protection, toys, adding fingers, using supportive pillows, etc) do not deserve the miraculous gifts of your body and time.

Fuck. That.

Do. Not. Fuck. Them.

I promise there are plenty of people who will worship the amazing body you inhabit. While you are working to make contact with them, or your own inner deity, or just researching for products to use with your adoring partner, I’d like to recommend a couple products that may achieve super star status with yourself and those special someones.

Satisfyer Pro2

For only $49.95, this champagne-colored cutie with a conveniently extended handle is a general hit for folks of all sizes! The opening for clitoral stimulation is wider than a lot of other products providing external air pulsation, the material is plush while still firm enough to maintain a supportive structure around the clitoris. The accommodating shape for folks with extra tissue in that area ensures they also receive these fabulous sensations regardless of position (may I recommend a pillow under your hips with the Satisfyer Pro 2 positioned underneath you? Adding a dildo, fist, or penis are all wonderful!)

I like that you can still enjoy it regardless of the direction the handle is positioned too. It comes with a 1 year warranty from the manufacturer, Satisfyer, but the warranty does not include skydiving or scuba diving unless explicitly stated.

French Kiss Casanova Flickering Tongue Stimulator with Vibrating Bullet

I LOVE that this product has separate motors for each function. The flicking tongue with different intensities for external enjoyment AND a multi speed vibrating bullet for internal stimulation are incredible combined- no doubt. But I can personally attest they make wonderful additions to actions you already enjoy on your own (or with a partner). You like the clit action with your favorite dildo but the dangling silicone vibe gets in the way? You can insert it for additional anal stimulation OR utilize it against your own nipples. Does your partner have a penis? Ask for consent to tuck the vibrating bullet on a low speed behind their balls while performing oral sex. Or use the flicking function on yourself while giving head to your partner! Your only limit is your imagination! Your ticket to unlimited versatility is just $74!

Fantasy for Her Ultimate Pleasure

Okay I adore this fucking toy. It can suck my clit and lips, eat my ass with a vigorous tongue flick, and penetrate me with a strong 10 speed vibrator. As we say in my hometown “a la madre!” My man is more than willing to create a suction over my labia with his mouth while flicking my clit with his tongue. He’s great at it! But men are human. And humans are not robots. So they need rest sometimes… But this toy? You will call it quits before this handheld powerhouse does! Phenomenal on your own. Then when your partner’s jaw is exhausted and their tongue is a useless lump, slurring their words after an extensive session of oral, pull out this beauty. The $162 price is intimidating to some but considering it’s a rechargeable penetrative toy, has 3 patterns of suction for the vulva, 7 velocities of tongue action, and 10 vibration modes PLUS a 30-day warranty from Pipedream Product, it’s a no-brainer.

*The description says waterproof, but I’ve discovered from my own experience that the toy is purely splash proof. So you can cleanse it in the sink while it’s turned off. I do not recommend using the toy in a shower while turned on.


*Rune Longoria is a queer, trans, Latin@ sex educator and intimacy consultant based on the border of Texas and Mexico. With 10 years of community health, LGBTQIA+, reproductive justice advocacy and education behind them, their goal is to empower and inspire ALL people to claim their pleasure radically and acknowledge consent openly, in every avenue of life. They also would appreciate including that asexuality is a spectrum that deserves acknowledgment and support within the pleasure industry.


Looking to get your groove on?

Take 10% off your entire purchase at IndigoHoney.com by using code IHBLOG10 at checkout.

The Best Grinding Toys for Full Vulva Pleasure

A woman sitting bareback on a white horse in a desert setting.

Not that into penetrative sex toys? No problem! The latest pleasure trend is all about your clitoris and vulva with vibrators made for bumpin’ and grindin.’

Grind-able vibrators are a whole new niche in sex toy design that was way overdue. We already knew the clitoris was queen, but grinding toys bring a whole new meaning to external orgasms.

Caressing the labia, humping the pelvic bone against cushion-y soft silicone, and rubbing the entirety of a lubed-up vulva against vibrating ridges and bumps are in a sensually delicious category all their own.

If you prefer vibration-assisted humping over penetrative activities, grinding sex toys are the answer to your self-love prayers. We’ve gathered a handful of our favorite pleasure devices that skip sticking it in (and a couple that’ll work with dildos or during sex, too) in favor of massaging your vulva like you’ve never experienced before (at least not with a vibrator, anyway).

Lust Remote Control Dual Rider

The Lust by CalExotics is a luxury, saddle-style vibrator made to rumble down under. Lust features 2 independent motors nestled under soft and comfortable silicone humps with gentle, ridged texture.

Lay down the Lust vibrator on your bed, a couch or chair, or anywhere you dare to grind away. The Lust’s remote control switches between 12 different vibration modes, and you can even control each motor separately.

Strip off your undies to feel the sublime vibrations and texture of Lust against a bare, lubed-up vulva. You can even ride Lust with your panties or jeans on!


Enby 2 Flexible, Rechargeable Vibrator

The Enby 2 by Wildflower Sex might look like a bicycle seat, but this grinding pad does everything except crush your genitals until they’re numb.

Enby 2 is quite possibly the most versatile, external sex toy ever. You can shove it down the front of your underwear and hump it, plop it down on a pillow and grind on it, or even fold it over the arm of your couch and screw it.

The super-duper flexible, silicone Enby 2 vibrates with 3 speeds and 3 patterns. Flip Enby 2 on its back to discover a row of ridges for extra stimulation. And don’t forget the lube!

Leaf+ Spirit Panty Vibe

Small, discreet, and perfectly shaped for clitoral grinding, the Leaf+ Spirit is designed to chill in your underwear and rumble your clit, hands-free style.

Leaf +Spirit provides slightly more direct vibrations to the clitoris than the Enby 2 via its slender, slim width. Spirit delivers 7 different vibration modes altogether, composed of 3 pattern modes and 4 speed intensities.

What we especially love about the Leaf+ Spirit is that, similar to the Enby 2, it’s completely flexible with no hard, inner core, so you can grind to your heart’s content without bruising your pubic bone.

Liberator Humphrey Sex Toy Pillow

Remember the good ol’ days of humping a pillow, long before you grew your sex toy collection? Liberator is bringing (grinding) sexy back with the Humphrey sex toy pillow, a cushion made just for holding your favorite vibrators in a hump-friendly position.

The Liberator Humphrey is your high school BFF reinvented. Covered in soft, washable and removable fabric, Humphrey has 2 differently sized pockets to hold whatever vibrators, wands, or dongs you can stick inside.

Use Humphrey to combine vulva grinding and penetration by stuffing one of the pockets with a vibrating dildo and then adding the Enby 2 or Leaf+ Spirit vibrator underneath your vulva. You can also stick with external stim by tucking a vibe into the pocket and then sealing it off inside.

Screaming O Charged Rub-It! Grinding Vibe

Ideal for solo grinding or wide-contact clitoral stim during couples play, the Rub-It! By Screaming O is a hand-held vibrator that hits all your external pleasure spots at once.

Small enough to hold between 2 fingers, but large enough to vibrate your entire vulva area (even up towards the pubic bone!), Rub-It features a whopping 20 vibration modes.

Try tucking the Rub-It between a couple of pillows, nestle it in a pile of blankets, or shove it into the sealing pocket of the Liberator Humphrey sex toy pillow.


Looking to get your groove on?

Take 10% off your entire purchase at IndigoHoney.com by using code IHBLOG10 at checkout.

How Do You Start… You Know… Touching Yourself – presented by Coffee@Dawn

Photo by Darius Bashar on Unsplash

 

Welcome to a safe space where we can chat about sexual health and wellness, candid talk with direct language and straightforward responses to your questions. 

 

“Touching yourself in this way is a revolutionary act. It’s bold, powerful, valuable! …This is your body– yours to know, yours to please, yours to love.”

L’s question: How do you start… you know… touching yourself?

Such a brave question!

How do you feel about your body? That’s a good question to ask yourself. Some women only touch themselves to wash in the shower and that’s it. Before we can get down with the big O, we might have to first practice some sensual self love.

Try standing in front of the mirror and giving yourself compliments. Start fully clothed if that is easier, or maybe in your favorite underwear (more on lingerie in another post).

“OOoooooh, woman! You are hot!”

“Your hair is gorgeous today.”

Sashay away and back again. Toss your hair. Wink at yourself. Be playful. Be silly. Flirt with that woman in the mirror. She is sexy!

“What are you doing later?”

“Meet me back here after ________, and I’ll treat you like the queen you are.”

Now plan for your date with that fine woman, and don’t stand her up!

Pick up some flowers while you’re out because she deserves them. Take a shower. Shave if that’s your thing. Pour a beverage, have a snack, and meet yourself in bed.

Don’t go directly to the clitoris! Take it easy. Slow down. Take some time running your hands over the surface of all your skin.

Start on your face with your fingertips. Gently touch your cheeks and your lips. Did you know your ears are erogenous zones filled with sensory receptors? Spend some time there… touching. Imagine warm lips… soft breath… teeth nibbling on your earlobes. Mmmmm…

Move your hand to your neck. Hover there. Close enough to feel the heat between your hand and your throat. The tiniest amount of pressure on the arteries under your jawline can feel exhilarating. Press gently. Feel your pulse. Is it quickening? 

Now your arms. Use one hand to caress your opposite arm. Drag your fingers gently across the surface, or harder if you like. Experiment with pressure or nails. What feels good? What do you like? Take time on your wrists and the inside of your elbows. These are sensitive spots. Imagine your fingers are someone else’s tongue. (Anyone! It’s your imagination.)

Once you’ve taken the time on both arms, move your hands to your breasts. Cup them in your palms. They are perfect! Shhhhhhh… Quiet that critical voice; there’s no room for that here. Take the time to explore them. Press them together, massage them, squeeze them. What feels good? How does it feel when you touch your nipples? When you brush your palms over them… when you roll them between your fingers, softly, then pinching them between your thumb and forefinger. Take your time. How do you like it? 

That beverage you brought with you to the bed… is it beaded with condensation? If you run your fingers along the side of the glass, are they wet? Cold? How does it feel to touch your skin now? Is there an ice cube that you could use to draw a line from your chest to your navel? How do the drops feel tracing rivulets down your sides? Don’t worry about the sheets. They will dry. Stick with the sensations of your beautiful body.

You deserve this. You are worth it. Push your fingers between your legs and separate your thighs. Those delicious thighs. Spread them apart. Treat them with the same care and love that you did your arms. Gentle fingertips or nails grazing the surface… squeezing the flesh in your hands. If you like sharper sensations, try a pinch or a slap in this delicate area. You get to decide what you like. No one is here to judge you. This is your date with your body. Shame is not invited. 

Try rolling onto your stomach. Lie flat or arch your back to raise your hips off the bed, and reach around to the back. All that ass is yours. Love it. Right now, it is the most beautiful ass in the world. Tell yourself. 

Are you flexible? Can you caress your legs? Reach down or up or around and give them the love that they deserve. Now is not the time to criticize or critique. Roll around in the sheets. Feel the texture on your skin. Enjoy this moment with yourself. Love your beautiful body.

We haven’t even gotten to the vulva– the place where your clitoris lives. That is a whole blog to itself! But we will. We will do it together next time. But don’t wait for me; by all means, continue the exploration without my help. Take your time; try different pressures and speeds. Investigate, experiment. Maybe report back and let me know how it went.

Touching yourself in this way is a revolutionary act. It’s bold, powerful, valuable! Maybe someone in your life has shamed you for it. They can f*ck off. This is your body– yours to know, yours to please, yours to love.

Knowing your own body and what you like has so many benefits! It is a form of self-care and self-love, yes. It relieves stress, helps you sleep, releases endorphins… It will also make you a better lover to another. 

Honestly, it will make you more powerful outside of the bedroom as well. If you make time for sensuous self-dates like the one above, you will carry the confidence you are inevitably developing into all areas of your life. Start with you.

Use code Dawn10 for 10% off all Indigo Honey purchases

DAWN DAVIS

CONFIDENCE COACH

I Help Women Build Unapologetic Confidence 

In Their Bodies, Bedrooms, and Beyond!

DawnDavisCoaching@gmail.com

Instagram: @DawnDavisCoaching 

As an educator and a coach, I make an effort to be inclusive in my respect and support of underrepresented sexuality populations: lesbian, bisexual, trans, poly, non-binary, kinky, swinger, BDSM-affilitated women are all invited to have coffee at my table. There is room for all of us.

The information contained within this blog Coffee@Dawn is not a substitute for legal or professional advice such as from an attorney, medical doctor, psychiatrist, or therapist. Coffee@Dawn holds no responsibility or liability for the actions, choices, or decisions taken by the reader.

Introducing Coffee@Dawn

Welcome to a safe space where we can chat about sexual health and wellness, candid talk with direct language and straightforward responses to your questions.

“Clear communication helps us ask for what we want, inside and outside of the bedroom. It has the potential to make us more confident and capable in all areas of our lives!”

Hello, ladies. Come on in; have a seat. Let’s talk about sexuality and desire. That’s why you’re here, isn’t it? Kick off your shoes, and I’ll pour you a cup of coffee, exactly as you like it. If tea is your preference, I’ve got that, too. Make yourself comfortable. You are all welcome here in this safe space– each and every one of you.

I invite all women to join in on our conversation. Talking and sharing, educating, and supporting one another. All different shapes and sizes are welcome, different personalities and strengths, young women and older women, too. 

Some of you will plop your bodies down, starved for this conversation where no subject is taboo. Others will sit tentatively perched on the chair, eyeing the rest of us with caution, ready to run away at the first blush of embarrassment. Whether you talk freely and easily about the multiple topics of women’s sexuality, or you don’t know where to start, welcome, welcome! Have a seat; I’ll pour you a cup.

You might be a person familiar and comfortable with your body. Perhaps you use accurate and precise terms to identify all the parts. Maybe you are certain of what you like and how you want it. It is easy for you to shop here at Indigo Honey, buying new toys for yourself and your partner(s) to spice up your sex life. You know that radical self care is a necessary component of our busy lives. You are invited to coffee at my table.

Or you might be less certain. You could be new to this whole experience. It’s possible you have never talked about your body in this way. You may feel shy or frightened– foolish, embarrassed, or ashamed. What are these desires that women have anyway? If you are insecure or nervous about being here, unsure how a website like Indigo Honey could benefit you, you are invited to coffee at my table.

The media tells us we are flawed and defective. Our families and people we love might perpetuate those messages. We even tell ourselves we are too much or not enough, depending on the situation or circumstances. We internalize these messages, often unconsciously. Any combination of these negative ideas is enough to diminish our sex drive or even squash it alltogether. 

As a Confidence Coach, I talk to my clients about various areas of self-doubt. Inevitably, how they feel about their bodies is part of the discussion. As women, we are bombarded with conflicting messages about how we should or should not be sexual beings. Some of us have experienced varying degrees of trauma; our sexuality may be informed or restricted by repressive cultural norms; we did not get comprehensive sex education at any point in our lives; it was something we just don’t talk about! I encourage self-love, negotiation, and ongoing, enthusiastic consent. Clear communication helps us ask for what we want, inside and outside of the bedroom. It has the potential to make us more confident and capable in all areas of our lives!

What are some of the topics we will explore? The possibilities are endless! BDSM as an expression of women’s empowerment, why masturbation is important, body confidence and expression for women ashamed of their bodies, queer culture, women in porn, the best sex toys, how to talk dirty, etc.

Indigo Honey is a great place to start. I challenge you to visit the site and be curious about the merchandise. Find something that looks exciting or interesting or confusing. Ask questions if you have them. Use Purchase Code Dawn10 to save 10% on your purchases. Full disclosure: Indigo Honey gives me 10% as well!

Post your questions in the blog comments or contact me directly via email or Instagram contacts below. Let me know what you would like to talk about. Be prepared to dive in with the juicy details when you come join me next time for Coffee@Dawn.

DAWN DAVIS

CONFIDENCE COACH

I Help Women Build Unapologetic Confidence 

In Their Bodies, Bedrooms, and Beyond!

DawnDavisCoaching@gmail.com

Instagram: @DawnDavisCoaching 

As an educator and a coach, I make an effort to be inclusive in my respect and support of underrepresented sexuality populations: lesbian, bisexual, trans, poly, non-binary, kinky, swinger, BDSM-affilitated women are all invited to have coffee at my table. There is room for all of us.

The information contained within this blog Coffee@Dawn is not a substitute for legal or professional advice such as from an attorney, medical doctor, psychiatrist, or therapist. Coffee@Dawn holds no responsibility or liability for the actions, choices, or decisions taken by the reader.

What Sexual Personality Type Are You

What Sexual Personality Type Are You

Takeaway: If more than one seem to fit you, don’t sweat it — there’s room for multiple toys in your drawer, after all.

 

Sex advice can sometimes be generic, but who we are in the bedroom is extremely individual. There are as many sexual personalities as there are people — but according to sex therapist Vanessa Marin, people can actually be grouped into 11 sexual personality types.

It can be useful to know what type you are so that you know the best ways to improve your sex life, including the ideal toys to buy. Here are the 11 types and a product that fits each one.

Read more of our sponsored article on Kinkly


Looking to get your groove on?

Take 10% off your entire purchase at IndigoHoney.com by using code IHBLOG10 at checkout.

Top 10 Picks from the Indigo Honey Holiday Gift Guide!

Top Picks

Don’t you love gift guides? I sure do! They always help me find something fun and unexpected to give a friend or loved one.

Indigo Honey always has seasonal boutique to reflect the current time of year, and I  have a great time picking out items I think our customers will love. The picks are divided into 2 sections: Sweet (lotions, lubes, potions, etc.) and Spicy (sex toys.) For my  Holiday Top Ten, I went with 5 from each section.

All the items in our gift guide were selected for their style and giftability. I usually care more about what’s inside the box, but because the idea is to GIVE something as a present, I took the packaging into careful consideration this time around. I mean, in my mind, part of the fun of receiving a gift is the unwrapping, amiright?

As usual, all our powered items are rechargeable, waterproof, and backed by a manufacturer’s warranty.

You can learn more about anything on this list by clicking on product name to get all the details from IndigoHoney.com.

Scroll down and enjoy my Top 10 Picks from the Indigo Honey Holiday Gift Guide!


Screaming O Holiday Stocking with Bestie Bullet

stocking 2

Deliver the gift that keeps on giving with the Screaming O Holiday Stocking. 

Featuring the NEW Bestie Bullet, this stocking includes sexual enhancement accessories that help couples connect and get cozy. Whether a romantic gift for that special someone or a sexy treat to spice up your sex life, the Screaming O Holiday Stocking makes it fun and easy to show your not-so-secret Santa how naughty and nice you’ve been this year!

 

Elite Femme by Wet Aromatherapy Massage & Body Oil

Elite Femme

Unleash your sensual power through the ancient healing art of Aromatherapy.

Elite Femme’s blend of seven vitamin enriched natural oils glide on easily and leave your skin irresistibly soft and delicately scented for hours. Whether massaged into the skin, sprinkled in your bath water, or used to pamper every inch of your body… Elite Femme by Wet Aromatherapy Massage & Body Oil will balance your mind, body, and spirit.

 

Hide & Play Rechargeable Lipstick

lipstick

Slim, stylish and ready for your next adventure.

The discreet Hide & Play Rechargeable Lipstick is the playful travel-loving mini vibe that you have been dreaming of.

Enjoy total pleasure to-go by slipping the mini massager into your purse and spice up the night whenever the urge takes you.

This bold lipstick vibe has 10 functions of vibration, pulsation, and escalation controlled with a single frustration-free button. The intense vibrations – provided by an extremely powerful, whisper-quiet tungsten motor – are sent throughout the compact stimulator for mind-blowing external stimulation.

The unique lipstick-shaped tip is designed to deliver powerful pinpoint stimulation or a full-contact action.

The discreet lipstick disguise makes it the mini massager the ideal travel companion, letting you enjoy radiating pleasure wherever your fantasies take you.

The USB rechargeable Hide & Play Rechargeable Lipstick Vibrator is waterproof for fun in & out of the water and easy cleanup.

 

Bijoux Indiscrets Magnifique Metallic Chain Whip Necklace

bijoux

This dual use, elegant necklace is an exclusive design by Bijoux Indiscrets, and inspired by the sensuous dancers in New York cabarets, where seduction is present in every detail.

It’s perfect for any occasion and makes a great teasing whip when it comes time to play with your lover.

The cold touch of the nickel-free metal chains contrasts with your skin temperature, and are great for caressing or punishing.

Wear your necklace on your evening outfit, with lingerie, or simply with your skin.

 

In Touch Passion Trio Versatile 3-in-1 Massager

passion trio

Get In Touch with your adventurous side with the premium Passion Trio multi-head interchangeable massager – It’s really 3 premium toys presented in an elegant gift box!

This exceptional set is designed to triple your pleasure with a simple snap and twist.

The versatile Passion Trio set gives you a variety of pleasure with one premium base and three unique interchangeable attachments – Kisser, Seducer, and Pleaser.

 

Sliquid Naturals Silver Studio Collection Glass Bottle

sliquid

Premium silicone lubricant in a discrete perfume-style bottle.

Sliquid Naturals Silver is a pharmaceutical grade silicone personal lubricant, and is Sliquid’s Premium formulation.

Silver is super long-lasting and 100% waterproof, and is the perfect choice for those who need a lubricant to last.

Made from an ultra concentrated blend of three pharmaceutical grade silicones, Silver will last for hours with only a few drops, and is easy to clean up with simple soap and water (except from some sheets & clothing!).

All Sliquid products are formulated by sensitive women, for sensible women.

 

Maia Skyler Bendable Rabbit

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With double 15 function motors, a bendable shaft, and a bendable clitoral stimulator, Skyler sets the stage for a completely customized experience.

The silky silicone body is slender, then flares out slightly to end in a rounded tip that features pleasure ridges for extra stimulation. It is bendable and poseable, so you can easily find the shape that’s right for your body.

The clitoral stimulator is also poseable, and offers a wide, full coverage surface the scoops in for even more contact, ending in a flickering pinpoint tip.

Double motors, one in the shaft and one in the stimulator, offer simultaneous vibrations in 15 modes of  escalation and pulse patterns, controlled with a simple 3-utton interface located on the golden handle.

The USB rechargeable Skyler comes with its own storage bag, and is submersible for fun in & out of the water and easy cleanup.

 

Shunga Oriental Crystals Organic Dead Sea Bath Salt

Bath

Use these lagoon green or ocean blue bath salts that provide velvety, skin-smoothing bubbles, to create an oasis of relaxation. Light the included floating candle to enhance your bliss.

 

Jimmyjane Afterglow Massage & Body Oil Candle

Candle

Light. Pour. Enjoy.

Set your mood. Sexy candlelight with a sensual scent, Afterglow engages all the senses. The skin-nourishing formula liquifies into a rich, warm massage oil. The designer-inspired porcelain container warms the candle evenly, while natural soy allows for perfect temperature control.

Elevate every massage experience. Luxury candles to illuminate your life and add warmth to your presence. Our natural soy-based formula burns clean and warms to body temperature, creating an element of sensual heat to every massage. live sexy.

 

ZALO Queen Set PulseWave G-Spot Vibrator & Suction Sleeve

Queen 1

Inspired by Cleopatra herself, the luxurious Queen is a beautiful force to be reckoned with.

Coated in proprietary Softek Dow Corning silicone accented with a golden “necklace” embellished with a sparkling crystal, the body offers an ergonomic shape that ends in a wide flattened tip with raised ring pattern for maximum G-spot contact and stimulation.

Queen offers 8 modes of vibration, pulsation, and escalation via a powerful yet quiet motor. The tip houses an exclusive PulseWave motor that provides a combination of tapping, friction, and pressure to the G-Spot with a piston-like wave motion that acts like the rising and falling of a lover’s fingertips.

Apply the included suction accessory sleeve to turn Queen into a targeted clitoral or nipple stimulator. When contained within the accessory sleeve, the PulseWave motor produces a sensation of gentle suction, tapping, and pressure waves to stimulate like no other.

For additional comfort and sensual arousal, Queen is designed to safely warm up before use with an intelligent 107° Fahrenheit (42° Celsius) pre-heating temperature control that activates with a button at the base.


Looking to get your groove on?

Take 10% off your entire purchase at IndigoHoney.com by using code IHBLOG10 at checkout.

Sweat Your Way to Better Sex! – Your Guide to the Orgasmic Power of Kegels

KegelIn the words of Queen Britney, You better work, b*tch! When you’re getting your sweat on, don’t forget the most important muscles of all – the ones in your vajayjay (and we’re pretty sure Ms. Spears would agree).

Kegel exercises are as trendy as rose gold jewelry and hot yoga classes, and for good reason. This simple pelvic floor workout of squeezing and releasing your PC muscles is the key to more intense orgasms, better sex, and a healthier vagina. Doing daily kegels can even help you bounce back from pregnancy or control those little squirts of pee that sneak out when you laugh or sneeze, better known as incontinence.

Kegel repetitions work to tighten the muscles of the pelvic floor and vaginal walls. Though science has long busted the myth that lots of amazing sex or multiple partners will forever leave you loose, the pelvic muscles can lose their tone and strength over time, just like the rest of your body when you cheat on your fitness routine for too long. If you’ve given birth, you’ll also notice a change in the tightness of your vaginal muscles.

All this stuff is totally normal, but your health and pleasure depend on physical fitness to keep your insides in tip-top shape. When those downstairs muscles are properly primed, you’ll enjoy stronger orgasms and more internal pleasure during penetration.

Adding some Kegels to your repertoire is like eating a whole box of chocolate-covered cherries after your regular workout (except orgasms are way better for your body than processed sugars).

Let’s get you started with an easy-peasy Kegel routine, some goodies to spice up your workout, and a little orgasmic game to throw in for motivation.

How the Heck Does a Kegel Work?

You can do a Kegel from wherever you’re sitting or laying down, and that’s what makes them pretty much awesome. Simply clench your vaginal muscles together, kind of like when you’re holding in a fart (yes, really, that’s it!). You’ll feel your butt cheeks and thighs clench up at the same time. To check that you’re doing it right, use those same muscles to stop the flow of urine the next time you’re on the toilet. If the stream stops, you’re doing it right.

Now clench and hold, and see how long you can keep those muscles flexed. Ideally, aim for 5-10 seconds clenched, and then release. Congrats! You’ve done your first Kegel.

Ready, Get Set, Vagina Reps!

Keeping up with your Kegels is no different from any other fitness routine. You’ve got to stick with it on the daily, but thankfully you don’t have to hit the gym. You can do the ol’ squeeze-and-release while sitting at the office, watching a movie, or anywhere that allows you some down time to yourself.

For beginners, start by clenching for 5 seconds, relaxing for 5 seconds, and then repeating this pattern 10 times in sets of 3. Work your way up to clenching for 10 seconds and then relaxing for 10, also aiming for 3 sets of 10 reps.

Twist It Up With Some “Exercise Equipment”

You’ll eventually want to add some resistance to move up to the next level, or maybe you could use a little coaching to get it right. There are all sorts of sexy workout toys to guide your routine or add some light weights to build that kitty into a fierce, dildo-crushing jaguar. (Ok, we’re kidding, you probably won’t crush your sex toy, but your partner will definitely feel the difference.)

Bloom by We-Wibe

bloom

We-Vibe’s luxurious Bloom is for the Kegel-ciser who wants it all. Bloom’s smart phone app guides you through your workout like a mini personal trainer. You can even swap out the weights to match your endurance level. Those 10 rumbly vibrations keep you motivated and on track for success.

 

Pussy Playballs Kegel Training Set by Rianne S

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Take your Kegel toys on the go with this ultra girly kit from fashion-forward brand Rianne S. The Pussy Playballs are basic Kegel weights disguised as adorable accessories in their coral-pink cosmetic bag. Each of the 4 balls adds on a little more weight, making it easy to step up your workout anytime.

 

Body & Soul Entice Kegel Balls

entice

These easy-to-remove Kegel balls keep it super basic, and they’re perfect for beginners on a budget. The stretchy silicone string and smooth, polished plastic balls help you figure out just how to wrap your v-muscles around their first workout toy.

 

Fantasy for Her Remote Kegel Exercise-Her

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If the duo-ball shape doesn’t do it for you, these Fantasy for Her Kegel balls are designed like a tear drop and made just as much for orgasms as exercise. Ten vibration modes take you through a whirlwind workout routine, which we’re pretty sure is going to wind up going south into climax land pretty quickly. You can even use this versatile piece of strength training equipment as an external bullet vibe.

 

Kegel Your Way to an Orgasmic Workout

Once you’ve gotten the kick of Kegel-ing, now comes the fun and games. You can combine your self-pleasure sessions with your daily down-there workout to add in a little reward – orgasms!

Choose a Kegel toy that vibrates as you squeeze, and as you go about your reps, notice how the vibrations ripple through your sacred space. Feel those heavenly vibes stimulate your g-spot and rumble up through your clitoris as you clench. Move your mindset from weightlifting champ to masturbation mode, and enjoy the subtle sensations of the toy as it rocks inside you.

Once you’ve gotten through your usual round of reps, you’ll be all worked up and ready to reach the finish line. Keep going with a few more reps of clench-and-release (or start your Kegel-ciser’s program from the beginning), but this time, slowly massage your clitoris as the Kegel toy’s vibrations bring you to the brink. Hold off for as long as you can, savoring the uniquely subtle pleasure of this deliciously gentle yet deep self-love technique.

When you’re ready, let yourself climax as the Kegel toy gushes forth another 10 second rep of vibration. In this tuned-in state, you’ll feel every last wave as your orgasm matches the toy’s burst of vibes.

Now who said working out has to suck?


Looking to get your groove on?

Take 10% off your entire purchase at IndigoHoney.com by using code IHBLOG10 at checkout.

Kinkly’s Ideas To Celebrate the Clitoris: 7 Suction-Based Sex Toys To Try

suction-toys

Takeaway: Suction can deliver powerful sensation – and orgasms.

If there’s a recent trend that’s really taken off in sex toys over the past few years, it’s suction. And it’s no surprise. If you have a clitoris and have been on the receiving end of clitoral suction, whether from a toy or an obliging partner, you understand the powerful orgasms this sensation can deliver.

Suction helps draw blood into the clitoris while gently stimulating it, often without vibration – or even touching it at all! It can also stimulate deep into the clitoral complex which, for some people, delivers the most powerful orgasms they’ve ever experienced.

Plus, for those who are sensitive to vibrations, the sensation of suction can be a welcome change, one that often leaves your body begging for more, more, more.

Looking to give a suction-based sex toy a try? Here are seven that’ll have you celebrating the clitoris!


ZALO Queen PulseWave G-Spot Vibrator and Suction Sleeve

zalo-queen-1

When it comes to suction-based sex toys, the ZALO Queen is both two-in-one and one-of-a-kind. It’s a both well-shaped G-spot vibrator AND a clitoral stimulator. Use the G-spotter on its own, or place the suction sleeve over it for targeted nipple or clitoral stimulation. The Queen even warms to 107 degrees before use. It’s one of the most unique and luxurious sex toys we’ve seen this year.

See the entire article and the rest of the list on Kinkly.com


Looking to get your groove on?

Take 10% off your entire purchase at IndigoHoney.com by using code IHBLOG10 at checkout.

The Best Bullet Vibes For Your Bucks

SGP BULLET VIBES

There’s just something so adorably enticing about bullet vibes. They’re adorably tiny slices of orgasmic heaven that are fun to collect and take up zero space in your sex toy drawer. Maybe it’s because we grew up wanting the entire collection of all those microscopic Polly Pocket and Littlest Pet Shop toys as kids, but let’s face it: our obsession with tiny toys has clearly made the leap into adulthood.

From those cheap-o, impulse buy bullets at the sex toy counter to today’s ultra-modern, petite luxury vibrators, this sex toy niche has grown from a last-minute grab at the boutique cash register to a broad and sought-after category. We’ve even seen a few companies pop up that are completely dedicated to bullets (and P.S. that’s Screaming O and Nu Sensuelle, because we know you’re going to ask)!

Before you get lost under a pile of finger-sized vibrators, check out our list of these top-notch toys that’ll bring variety (and awesome orgasms, obviously) to your itty-bitty pleasure collection.


Blush Exposed Nocturnal Rechargeable Lipstick Vibe

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Remember those wonderfully cheesy lipstick-shaped vibes from the early 2000s? They might have fooled your high school boyfriend, but even your mom knew that wasn’t just a tube of lippy in your purse.

Blush Novelties dug into their sex toy time capsule and crafted a glamorous update that’s part old-school and part modern tech maven. The Exposed Nocturnal Rechargeable Lipstick Vibe dropped the make-up masquerade act, but kept the sleek lipstick shape. This super affordable bullet is class and sass in a tiny package with 10 strong vibe patterns that promise the strongest orgasms possible from a toy this size. Toss this lil’ cutie in your purse and have a solo quickie in the ladies’ room on your next night out.

 

VēDO LUV Plus

luv plus

We’ve got just the thing for the babe on a budget! The LUV Plus bullet by VEDO is under $50, and it does not skimp on frills. Where else can you get 10 vibration speeds, full waterproof capabilities, and velvety-soft silicone for next to nada?

But what really makes the LUV Plus extra special is it’s unique tip. Instead of the usual ol’ smooth-as-a-baby’s-butt rounded top, the LUV bullet hugs your clitoris with a raised oval that feels suspiciously like it was molded just for your anatomy. If you need an extra push to cross into climax territory, flip the LUV Plus over and press it’s tiny nub right where you need it.

 

Maia Toys SERA Lay-On Bullet

 

sera

Tired of letting your favorite bullets slip and slide through your lubed-up fingers? Maia Toys has a solution: the SERA Lay-On Bullet, a re-vamped version of our favorite clit stim toy that’s crafted to fit perfectly over your pubic bone without your assistance.

While the jury’s still out on whether you can actually just lay back, balance this pink bunny rabbit on your vulva, and let those rumbling ears go to town on your clitoris, it still makes for some awesome orgasms. For starters, there’s a lot more to grab on to. The SERA’s teardrop shape is easier to grasp with slippery digits.

SERA also comes equipped with 10 funky vibration modes and a unique triplet of stimulating, silicone fingers. The paired ears at the top gently flutter over your labia while the third – a soft bump protruding just beneath – directly rumbles your love button.

 

Charged by Screaming O Vooom RC Remote Control Bullet

vooom

If your male partner isn’t as stoked on sex toys, hand him the Screaming O Charged Vooom RC Remote Control Bullet. With a name like Vooom RC, this bullet vibe sounds more like a mechanical upgrade for a race car, and it’s mini, ring-style remote will bring back his old memories of playing with a remote control toy racetrack.

This baby bullet has it all: a waterproof exterior, multiple colors to choose from, easy USB recharging, and a 50-foot radius so your partner can start foreplay before you’re even in the same room. Let your partner cycle through the Vooom’s 10 vibrating functions and see if they can make you climax from across the apartment!

 

Leaf+ Life+

LEAF

Ok, so we’ll admit we cheated a bit on this one. The Life+ vibrator by Leaf+ isn’t exactly a bullet, at least not in the traditional sense. It’s more like a souped-up version that fits perfectly in your palm and still reaches all those little spots you can only tease with a tinier vibe.

With 5 speeds and functions, the Leaf+ is a crowd pleaser, too. Use the soft, pointy tip for super-direct clitoral stimulation, or gently insert this silicone beauty, which is ergonomically shaped to caress all your internal curves. It also makes an excellent body massager for a do-it-yourself shoulder rub to knock out tight muscle knots. Leave it out on your nightstand and it blends in nicely with the rest of your bedside tech goodies.

 

Jopen Amour Remote Bullet

AMOUR 2

Luxury sex toy brand Jopen is all about the finer things. If you love shiny accents, fancy packaging, and shades of baby pink, Jopen’s Amour Remote Bullet is the perfectly dainty addition to your charming sex toy collection.

Easily mistaken for a high-end cosmetic accessory, the Amour Remote Bullet romances your internal and external pleasure zones. Use the cutesy, heart-shaped remote to cycle through Amour’s 7 vibration patterns, all of which can be independently controlled to speed up or slow down with 5 speed options. When your inner bits are begging for attention, insert Amour and let the bullet’s curvy shape rock you into ecstasy. When you’re done, just pop it out using the stretchy silicone string!

 

Fantasy For Her Remote Kegel Excite Her

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We’re all about sex toys that can do double duty, especially when that means squeezing a workout into play time. Pipedream’s Fantasy for Her Remote Kegel Excite-Her takes you from sensual Kegel exercises to bullet-sized clitoral play.

Pop this purple teardrop vibe into your vagina and squeeze your PC muscles along with any of the toy’s 10 vibration patterns to keep that vajayjay strong. When you’re done poppin’ that pussy to the beat, grab the string and use your natural juices to lubricate your clitoris while the Excite-Her’s enticing vibration modes do the rest. Where else can you find workout gear that doubles as a solo or couples’ sex toy?

Aria by Blush Vitality Bullet With Tips & Wireless Remote

VITALITY

Variety is the spice of life, especially when it comes to your sex toy drawer! The Aria Vitality Bullet brings the best of all worlds with 3 interchangeable silicone tips so you can switch up the sensations.

Use the Aria Vitality alone if you crave intense vibrations, which travel easily through the toy’s smooth plastic shell. Pop on one of the three silicone heads for an experiment in shape and texture. The Aria Vitality cycles through 5 speeds and 5 modes to bring you to the brink.

Try the orange, rounded tip to add a bit of buffer between your clit and those strong vibes, or take the purple, lipstick-shaped tip for a spin if you prefer direct stimulation. The green, dual-tipped vibe is a fun way to finish the night by teasing your clit with this pair of rumbling ticklers.

Nu Sensuelle Point 20 Function Silicone Rechargeable Bullet

POINT 2

If we’d placed a Nu Sensuelle bullet at the top of this list, you probably wouldn’t have bothered to read the rest of the blog. In fact, we might have just stopped you right there ourselves (well, almost!).

Nu Sensuelle is sex toy royalty when it comes to super-strong bullets. Many a sex toy blogger has bemoaned the plethora of pitifully designed, weak, and downright boring bullets on the market – unless it’s one of the many the magical, clit-pleasing creations from Nu Sensuelle.

If it’s power you seek, the Point 20 Function Silicone Rechargeable Bullet is officially your new go-to sex prop. No, really – we aren’t kidding. The multiple speeds on this smooth silicone vibe are enough to blast you into climax hysterics. This power-packed toy will have you melting with pleasure so intense, you’ll hardly believe it’s possible (at least until the multiple orgasms start rolling in).

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